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  • Writer's pictureCheyanne Dunn

Stop Telling Me I’m Going to Want Kids Someday, I Definitely Won’t

For as long as I can remember, I have never wanted kids. I couldn’t tell you exactly when this idea came into mind, but I can’t recall a time when I felt differently. I’ve never been good with young kids because you can’t really communicate with them as you would an older child and for me, that is difficult. At the age of 18, I asked my doctor about getting my tubes tied and he told me I was too young to make that decision. This was the first of many times doctors would tell me that. Since then, I have asked countless doctors and even my OGBYN and every single one of them has told me no because I will change my mind. But here I am at 27, still feeling the exact same way.

Every person I discuss this with tells me the same thing my doctors have told me, that one day I will change my mind, but I honestly don’t believe that’s true. I don’t even see myself getting married, let alone having kids, so why does everyone believe that I will change my mind? I am the only person who knows what goes on in my head and I can tell you that kids are not part of my future.

Don’t get me wrong, if you want or have kids, that’s great for you, I just don’t see it happening for me. While that should be totally okay, unfortunately in the world we currently live in, it is seemingly not. I can understand why at 18 I was told I might change my mind, but now that I’m older and have been consistently asking about it, I can’t understand why doctors have the right to tell me no. It’s my body and should be my decision, and if I change my mind later in life than it’s my problem to deal with. There’s always adoption if I truly want kids, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Having the ability to choose what you want to do with your body should be your own right, however there are a ton of examples of laws and rules that don’t allow women to be in control of their bodies. Abortion is obviously a huge example of this. It has become a major topic in the news with new laws being put in place not allowing women to get abortions. Being able to be in control of your body shouldn’t have any restrictions, it should be your choice. Also, I’d really appreciate if people would stop telling me what I will eventually think. I know what I think now and that’s what is important here.

Here’s the problem, in this society that we live in, men have the power, allowing them to speak for women, but let’s be honest here, what do these men know about being a woman? That’s right, it’s nothing. They have no clue what our bodies go through or what it’s like to be a female altogether. I’d be more than happy to allow these men to experience having their period or going through childbirth, but sadly that’s not how this works. If I am an adult, which according to society I am, then why am I not allowed to make these decisions for myself?

While women have begun to take a stand by attempting to change how this works, that is still a long way away. For now, I’d appreciate if the people I meet or the doctors I see would stop telling me what I am going to want in my future. I am the only person who makes that decision and your opinion on the matter does not change how I feel. So please, stop telling me I’ll change my mind. No one else but me knows what my future holds and that’s how it should be.



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