I Want To Be Fearless
I want to be fearless like I was as a kid. Completely open-minded about the world and the people in it, without caring about how anyone felt about me or my opinions. Just enjoying my time every day, doing whatever it was that made me happiest. I want to feel that pure euphoria that comes with being undaunted by the world around me. As a kid, I was unembarrassed by who I was and how I lived my life. I made friends everywhere I went and had no shame in going up to strangers and introducing myself. I enjoyed being around people and that came from feeling truly confident in myself.
I want to be fearless like I was as a kid but now my anxiety tells me no. It tells me to stay in my lane and approach life with caution. My anxiety makes me nervous and keeps me detached from the real world. It’s just a voice in my head that argues with itself until I become too exhausted to even try and although most of what my anxiety tells me isn’t true, I still believe it. Why is it that as a kid this uneasiness with my thoughts didn’t exist? Why is it that as an adult, this nervousness suddenly appeared as if it had always been there? I find that I am constantly reassuring myself that everything is okay and that I am who I am, which shouldn’t be the case. I know who I am but the security to back it up isn’t there.
I want to be fearless and feel free from of the idea that I am not enough. I want to feel enough confidence in myself to be whoever it is I want to be. I want to be free of the thoughts that hold me back and makes me question the world around me. I’ve lost so many close friendships in my adult life but even with all that heartbreak, I want to feel that I can trust again. I want to feel that I can truly be open to people without being skeptical of what this person may want from me. I want to allow myself to be the person I used to but with the improvements I’ve learned along the way.
I want to be fearless and live in the moment, which has been tough for me as an adult. I want to be that feisty girl I was so long ago because deep down, I know she’s still in there waiting for her moment to shine. I want the self confidence that used to exude from my entire being, and the feeling of being free and courageous no matter what the situation at hand is.
I want to be fearless and live my life without constantly doubting my choices. I want to stay true to myself and be open to new things. I want to put my past behind me and move forward with my life. It’s time to put those bad thoughts into a folder in my mind and leave them there as a reminder of who I was. I want to be fearless because that will make me feel free of the errors I’ve made and ready to accept love and happiness into my life.